Divorce, Parents, and the Kids that Get Stuck in the Middle

This is my first blog post in quite some time, and it feels great to be back.

We all know at least one family that’s been through the challenges of divorce. Mudslinging, anger, hurt, resentment, side-picking, the list goes on and on.

But what about the kids that get stuck in the middle? The ones that feel like they must choose sides like a team sport. The kids that feel like it’s not loyal to love or have a relationship with the parent who is allegedly to blame for everything? 

I’m here to tell you from professional and personal experience, these kids should never have to carry the above burdens, it places unnecessary stress, and angst on top of all the confusing emotions they’re already feeling. The best thing parents, family members, and friends can do is encourage and support the kids throughout their journey. 

Encouraging kids to have a relationship with both parents is healthy and helps them to know that it’s OK to love both parents even if they’re angry or don’t agree with one or both.

Most importantly, parents should be as amicable as possible. Refraining from negative talk in front of them helps them to see that even though their relationship is different now, they can still get along.

It’s also important not to engage in negative talk about the other parent with friends, family, or neighbors during visitation when the kids are within earshot. I’d like to add the importance of a parent’s girlfriend or boyfriend not making negative comments about the other parent in front of the kids either. Stay tuned for a future blog on that subject. When either parent talks negatively about the other in front of the kids, it’s awkward and uncomfortable. It’s inadvertently criticizing the kids as they are a combination of both parents.

Kids just need to know that their job isn’t to worry about the divorce and custody. They need to know that each parent loves them as they always have and that everything will be okay.

You see, when the parents are okay, it helps the kids to be okay. This helps them continue to thrive and grow into successful, well-adjusted adults that know how to navigate various challenges in life in a healthy manner.

Parents don’t put or allow your kids to be in the middle of something they’re not meant to be in the middle of. Family and friends, regardless of whom you agree with, don’t contribute to putting kids in the middle or encourage them to dislike or not have a relationship with the other parent, you’re not helping, you’re hurting.

Encourage, support, and guide these kids, that’s what they really need.

Many blessings, health, and happiness to you.

Joelle ❤️